I go by "Lee", a nickname I've had since I was a child. I'm a single mom with three great kids; one grown, one just out of elementary school, and one in the middle...my transgender teen.
My son was born 18 years ago, but until age 16, he was my daughter. Just seeing that statement on the page makes me realize what a long strange trip it's been, but honestly I wouldn't trade a minute of it. He's a great kid, as are his siblings, and I'm blessed to have three wonderful children.
I have always been fairly open minded, despite having been raised in a strict Roman Catholic family, attending a parochial school where Nuns were my only teachers and Christ was my Savior. My mother was an artist who associated with many people who I now recognize as being "gay"...Heaven forbid!
I think she was more hip than she realized, and I'm grateful for her open-mindedness then, however, I don't believe that same generosity would apply to her own grandchild. How times have changed!
*****
My son, whom I call "Rah", decided to tell me of his dilemma via email while visiting a friends' house. (FYI, I wouldn't recommend this, kids, it's rather shocking!) I wished that he had felt comfortable enough to tell me in person so that I could have hugged him, but I know that his long time friends had his best interest in mind and it all worked out well in the end.
I realized quickly why I had been struggling for years to dress this kid. He would go out shopping (for girls clothes with his older sister) and never really seemed comfortable in his own skin. Seventh grade was tough on him, as he tried to fit in and be fashionable in his own way, but the bullies were relentless, and there was no help at all from the school administration. So, looking back, it all made sense. I can still see him at seventh grade graduation, in the black lace dress and sneakers that he insisted on wearing, looking as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. It just made sense.
*****
Fast forward two years, and Rah is now enrolled in college, having left high school in 10th grade and getting his GED. We are both studying at the local community college and life is pretty busy. My youngest, who will be 13 soon is looking forward to beginning middle school in a new environment and things are pretty exciting. We have survived a lot over the past few years, and it's the struggles that have brought us all closer as a family. I honestly believe that had it not been for Rah's courage to be himself, that we may have not come to be as strong as we are today. For that, I am most grateful.
I can only speak for myself and my own family, but I believe that most of us parents only want the best for our children, and sometimes the best for them isn't necessarily something we're comfortable with, but taking the journey with them, learning about them and seeing them grow into happy adults is really the ultimate reward for being a Mom in the first place.
Here's to our wonderful crazy kids and all that they can teach us.
Lee
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