Community Support!

Hi All,

It's been a busy few months, and spring is finally here! Time to do some cleaning here on the blog, so things may be moved around a bit in the near future, but fear not, I'm determined to find new and exciting information to share!

Sharing among our community is very important, so that is what I shall do tonight.

First, I want to share that I am very excited to have begun the process to become a licensed foster care home for LGBTQ youth in need. I have completed the training and am on my way to completing the mountains of paperwork that go along with it. It turns out that there are many transgender, or non-gender conforming youth right here in our area who are homeless, and it just breaks my heart to think of ANY child being homeless, so I'm very much looking forward to helping even one child along their path of self discovery.

So, with that said, I realize that support for our trans kids from the community can make or break us.

I was fortunate in that when my son first transitioned, our immediate neighborhood was very supportive, as was his school. Sadly that isn't always the case, and I was reminded of that in quite a shocking way very recently.

Someone who I consider a dear friend, whom I've known for over 20 years, someone who's known most of my kids since they were babies, called me out on my parenting, because I allowed my son to transition.

Feeling that I had education and experience on my side, I didn't hesitate to volley his questions and accusations, but after a while, it just wore me down. The mother bear in me just felt cornered and I wanted to give up. After being questioned about why I allowed my son to choose his gender, I used my Hail Mary and asked my best friend, point blank..."And at what point did you choose to be gay?"

So I dodged the fatal bullet there, but I came home thinking a lot about other parents who may have had similar experiences. We're not really a large family, and we don't attend church services, nor are we very involved in our new community (yet), but I had to wonder...

What is it like for a family with a transgender child, when they DO have those connections? I know it's difficult enough dealing with school, and immediate family can be a pain, (not to make light of that at all) but how does a family cope with questions they may encounter from their community? Even grocery shopping can have it's pitfalls, just encountering people on a daily basis can be tiring, but what happens when someone actually starts to call into question your ability to raise your children? Your decision making? Your sanity?

I'm so grateful that there are resources on the internet, where I could share my concerns and receive such positive feedback, but it seems there's a lack of conversation about this issue in general.

 I wish there was a set of flash cards to use in response to some of the crazy stuff we'll face as parents of trans kids. I don't like confrontation, and although I consider myself very well educated in the transgender realms of society, biology, physiology, etc. I often find myself at a complete loss for words, when faced with either religious proselytizing or just downright stupidity.

I guess I'm lucky that it was my dear old friend who challenged me first, and maybe it was just good practice for what's yet to come.

Lee